For the past week I have been attempting to write a post, using pictures from the past five years of my life to illustrate what visible changes have taken place in me & how that corresponds to where I have been in my life, womanhood. motherhood & the rest. I have actually found it much more difficult than I expected. I spent yesterday evening trying to organise all the pictures I wanted to use & after faffing around for an hour I was drained by it all. Not just by the technical computery crap, but by looking at all these snapshots of the varying lives I've had - it feels as though I've been a million different people, but only a handful of these people I've liked & I certainly aren't any of these likable characters at the moment.
When I saw the MH woman, one of the questions she asked me was 'What do you like about yourself?'. This took me by surprise & honestly, quite honestly, I could not think of one single thing. I thought for a long time, 'Umm & ahh..' & yet I couldn't. I laughed a little & I cried a little. This has stuck with me, & so I think that one of my #groovingmums goals should be to change this. I am not sure how, but it must change.
I think I am in need of a re-cap of the week, in relation to my goals & aims. I have had a strange week of no blogging, being fairly busy with other projects in between the overwhelming tiredness I've felt of late. I have struggled this week with my emotions, too, so I think that has been detrimental to my energy levels. After visiting parents & family & being told that I looked pale & thin I have had a bit of a reality check & tried to eat much more than I usually would. I have basically used this as an excuse to indulge - Bailey's Ice Cream, biscuits, lots of milk & dairy - but I have been struggling to feel as though I'm getting enough protein, so this is possibly what I need to consider further this week. This week I also did a craft fair with my Mum. It was lovely & even though I was feeling pretty shit I really enjoyed it, it reminded me of being a little girl as I spent many weekends at craft fairs with my Granny & Mum. They always have a similar atmosphere, right down to the smell of the place & the buzz of people.
This week Kate set us a few mini tasks. The first was to have a think about ground rules to establish for the Grooving Mums blog hop. Hands up, I totally failed on this front. A good start.
Secondly, she asked us to 'embrace the spirit', whether this be in a religious or meditative way, or however else we should choose to interpret this. Not being religious, & thinking of myself as a fairly rational person, with a love of science & fact this is something that I would interpret in a different way. This is not to say that I don't feel spiritual at times, I think that the mind is an amazingly complex thing, & the range of emotions it is capable of experiencing at once is, well, mind blowing. The things that make me float are often sensory things: tastes, sounds, sights - roughly translating as good food, music & art. This week it was music. I have not felt this way in a long time & you can read about it here.
Third came the task of 'Body Fun' - doing something you wouldn't usually do, such as painting your toenails, having a facial... whatever it is, so long as it makes you feel good. I have to admit that in order to save my skin, which can get very blotchy & spotty, I don't often wear make-up unless I am leaving the house so I didn't break this routine this week, but I have had a hair-cut & feel so much better for it & I'm enjoying experimenting with different styles, as it's been a long time since I had hair this short. As for painting my toenails, I cannot reach them, though I would very much like to!
All in all, it's been a strange week, good & bad, but it's my last few weeks of being pregnant & I am feeling much less guilty for having not done all that much. In fact, to say I was 38 weeks pregnant I actually feel as though I have done quite a lot.
Also, I am away to Manchester this evening to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers (praying that the baby doesn't decide to come any time before 11pm this evening) & I am girlishly excited! I'm certainly going to be grooving.
When I saw the MH woman, one of the questions she asked me was 'What do you like about yourself?'. This took me by surprise & honestly, quite honestly, I could not think of one single thing. I thought for a long time, 'Umm & ahh..' & yet I couldn't. I laughed a little & I cried a little. This has stuck with me, & so I think that one of my #groovingmums goals should be to change this. I am not sure how, but it must change.
I think I am in need of a re-cap of the week, in relation to my goals & aims. I have had a strange week of no blogging, being fairly busy with other projects in between the overwhelming tiredness I've felt of late. I have struggled this week with my emotions, too, so I think that has been detrimental to my energy levels. After visiting parents & family & being told that I looked pale & thin I have had a bit of a reality check & tried to eat much more than I usually would. I have basically used this as an excuse to indulge - Bailey's Ice Cream, biscuits, lots of milk & dairy - but I have been struggling to feel as though I'm getting enough protein, so this is possibly what I need to consider further this week. This week I also did a craft fair with my Mum. It was lovely & even though I was feeling pretty shit I really enjoyed it, it reminded me of being a little girl as I spent many weekends at craft fairs with my Granny & Mum. They always have a similar atmosphere, right down to the smell of the place & the buzz of people.
This week Kate set us a few mini tasks. The first was to have a think about ground rules to establish for the Grooving Mums blog hop. Hands up, I totally failed on this front. A good start.
Secondly, she asked us to 'embrace the spirit', whether this be in a religious or meditative way, or however else we should choose to interpret this. Not being religious, & thinking of myself as a fairly rational person, with a love of science & fact this is something that I would interpret in a different way. This is not to say that I don't feel spiritual at times, I think that the mind is an amazingly complex thing, & the range of emotions it is capable of experiencing at once is, well, mind blowing. The things that make me float are often sensory things: tastes, sounds, sights - roughly translating as good food, music & art. This week it was music. I have not felt this way in a long time & you can read about it here.
Third came the task of 'Body Fun' - doing something you wouldn't usually do, such as painting your toenails, having a facial... whatever it is, so long as it makes you feel good. I have to admit that in order to save my skin, which can get very blotchy & spotty, I don't often wear make-up unless I am leaving the house so I didn't break this routine this week, but I have had a hair-cut & feel so much better for it & I'm enjoying experimenting with different styles, as it's been a long time since I had hair this short. As for painting my toenails, I cannot reach them, though I would very much like to!
All in all, it's been a strange week, good & bad, but it's my last few weeks of being pregnant & I am feeling much less guilty for having not done all that much. In fact, to say I was 38 weeks pregnant I actually feel as though I have done quite a lot.
Also, I am away to Manchester this evening to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers (praying that the baby doesn't decide to come any time before 11pm this evening) & I am girlishly excited! I'm certainly going to be grooving.
You are amazing and very likeable if you ask me which you didn't but you are. I love how you have so much going on so late into pregnancy - you are a wonder and I hote the gig goes brilliantly for you. Girlish excitement is very grooving and we need more of it in our lives.
ReplyDeleteI used to run craft fairs and attend them so I empathise on that score.
Good Luck when the time comes too.
Hair cut is on my list for this week too so you have inspired me already.
How was the gig? I do love getting my hair done - always makes me feel a zillion times better. I had mine done on Thursday and got a bit of a spring in my step back! Take it easy over these next few weeks.
ReplyDelete